


Absolutely Nothing Goes Wrong

by orphan_account



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trap
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, One sentence of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Zhao Zi is going to prove to his father, a prominent gang leader, that he doesn't need to be coddled. He's going to go seduce the rival gang's second-in-command for intel and make his father eat his words.





	Absolutely Nothing Goes Wrong

Somewhere in a patient room on the top floor of some fancy hospital, a greying middle-aged man reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his packet of cigarettes, wincing when sharp pain radiated throughout his injured leg. He sighed. His stupid son was making a fuss outside the hospital room, yelling at the bodyguards to let him in. He hadn’t wanted Zhao Zi to know he’d been injured, but the brat somehow found out anyway.

“Let him in,” he finally grumbled at the guards, knowing that his son’s inherited stubbornness meant he would wait outside the door for hours if he had to.

“Dad!” Zhao Zi complained as he stumbled over, the tone of his voice just a fraction away from pitching into a whine. “Why didn’t you tell me you were attacked? What happened?”

“I’m not bringing you into this,” he sighed, lighting up a cigarette. “You know I won’t.”

“Why not? I only have one family, and I want to know what’s going on so I can do my best to look out for everyone! I’m not some child anymore.”

“It was never about you being a child,” he argued. After all, many young children were groomed into this violent lifestyle from a very young age. It wasn’t like Zhao senior had never tried to do the same for Zhao Zi. When his son was first born, he’d taken a look at those strong brows with pride and felt that this child would grow up to be the most intimidating gang boss of the next generation. It didn’t take very long for that illusion to be mercilessly shattered.

When Zhao Zi was eight, he’d been kidnapped by two members of some small, insignificant gang. Three days later, the two kidnappers returned his son, apologized with tearful remorse about any trauma they might’ve inflicted on him, and then proceeded to retire completely from the criminal life. The two were now pursuing their lifelong passion of becoming a torch-juggling duo, and Zhao senior had been reluctantly impressed by their skills when he took Zhao Zi to watch one of the shows.

By the time Zhao Zi was eleven, it’d already become very, very clear that there would be no way to integrate him into the shadier dealings of their family business. What really hit the nail on the coffin was when Zhao Zi, at the age of fifteen, was assigned to accompany a group of his best men to an arms deal. By the end of the evening, half of them asked to resign in order to “focus on building their families.”

Zhao Zi was like a Midas who, instead of gold, turned everything he touched into protective instinct and good intentions. Zhao senior suspected it was a byproduct of being brought up by his mother, Zhao Zi’s late grandmother. She’d been one of the fiercest and cleverest women in the business, capable of much more cruelty than any man in the Zhao family. Yet, she’d spoiled and babied her grandson to death right up until the day she passed. Even now, Zhao Zi probably still had no idea that there were grown men who’d wince in fear at the mention of his grandmother’s name.

“What would I have to do to prove that I don’t need to be coddled?” Zhao Zi asked, lower lip jutting out a fraction like a fool. “I can fight bad guys! Easily!”

Zhao senior scratched his head and sighed yet again. At this point, if he sighed any harder, he’d run out of carbon dioxide. “Zhao Zi, we _are_ the bad guys. Just behave and listen to your old man, okay? Stop entertaining these useless thoughts. Go back and focus on school.”

Zhao Zi stood up abruptly, his brows creasing into an angry expression. It had the same energy as a cranky corgi. “Don’t think I won’t be able to figure out what exactly happened. I’ll do whatever it takes to show you all that I shouldn’t be underestimated.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he replied obligatorily, knowing very well that Zhao Zi’s brand of stupid was invulnerable to well-intentioned parental recommendations.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t difficult for Zhao Zi to learn the details of the incident from his father’s subordinates. Despite the unspoken rule that he was to be kept out of the gang business, his father’s men always ended up spilling everything to him with a bit of cajoling and stubborn heckling.

He understood that the Tang family, who until now had peacefully shared power with the Zhaos, decided to take action against them and orchestrated an explosion at an auction his father had been present at. What they wanted from his family, Zhao Zi didn’t know, but he was certain of how he would be able to find out.

It was pretty simple to come up with a plan, not because he was a genius, but because he had a really rather limited skillset. He couldn’t shoot a gun to save his life, so running around waving one and threatening people didn’t seem very useful. He wasn’t particularly clever, so scheming in the shadows was also out of the question. The one thing he had mad expertise in was making friends. And if that wasn’t enough, then honey trapping didn’t seem too difficult. How hard was it really to peek at someone from under your lashes and maybe smoke a cigarette, like, sexily or something? It seemed simple enough in movies. And since his family kept him well-insulated from the criminal underworld, it was nearly impossible for anyone to know his family background, making it unlikely for anyone to see through his infiltration attempt.

His chosen target was a man named Jack—red hair, trademark leather jacket, Tang Yi’s trusted right-hand man. He and Tang Yi were supposedly often found frequenting the bar Zhao Zi had just stepped foot in. If he managed to get close to this man, he’d definitely have the chance to learn what he needed to know to keep their people out of danger.

He spotted one lone man sitting at the bar that seemed to fit the description and walked up to the man with his brightest smile. “Can I get you a drink?”

The man turned around, and Zhao Zi experienced a brief moment of confusion. He was fairly certain his sources had warned him that this Jack fellow was supposed to be a young man known for having…an almost dangerous sort of charisma—the exact quote being something like, "One time, Jack stabbed me in the leg and I almost said thank you.” None of that seemed to apply to this man in front of Zhao Zi, who looked exactly zero percent charming. His mouth was upturned into a perpetual sneer and his skin looked greasy like he hadn’t washed his face in weeks. He was also clearly drunk off his mind.

Jack-But-Maybe-Not-Jack looked Zhao Zi up and down before leering in a way that made him tempted to give up this whole plan and run home to take a shower. However, the whole point of this entire ordeal was to show his father that he was capable of playing with the big boys, and because of that, he stuck his ground.

“What’s your name, baby?” Urgh, he did not like the sound of that endearment coming from this man’s mouth at all.

“I’m Zhao Li An, but most people call me Zhao Zi. What’s yours?” Please don’t let it be Jack, please don’t let it be Jack.

“If you really want to find out, let’s hang out somewhere a little more private,” he winked—well, not so much winked as had a focal seizure in his right eye, but the intent was there.

The man pulled him by the arm, resisting Zhao Zi’s attempts to unhook his claws without causing a scene.

“Hey, stop grabbing me!” he shouted, as the other man played deaf.

“While I admit this _is_ a very loud bar, I didn’t think it was quite so easy to mishear what this young man just yelled straight into your ear,” a newcomer who’d witnessed their conflict said lightly as he walked up to them. His words were accompanied by a wide, almost chilling smile. Zhao Zi blinked once and the odd peculiarity of that smile vanished, leaving just a regular smile in its place. He must’ve just been imagining things under the harsh shadows of the dimly lit bar.

This newcomer fit the description of Tang Yi’s righthand man perfectly. His mahogany red bangs swept across his forehead artfully, and a dark leather jacket sat over a white t-shirt so thin it was almost transparent. Zhao Zi’s heart started doing erratic things. If he could get close to this guy, he’d not only be able to gather intel on Tang Yi’s gang, but also learn the secret behind how to stay so _fit_. Maybe Jack might let him watch his undoubtedly top tier fitness routine. Shirts need not be involved.

He was snapped out of his thoughts, literally, by two fingers snapping together in his face.

“Come on, let’s go find a place where there’s less scum,” the real Jack said cheerfully. Definitely-Not-Jack stared them in what seemed like frozen recognition, not a single word of protest passing through his lips as the other redhead gently grabbed Zhao Zi’s elbow and walked them away.

They ended up claiming seats at a tiny table for two hidden away in some corner. “I’m Jack, by the way. And you are…?”

“Someone who could reaaaally use a drink right now. But on most days I just go by Zhao Zi.”

“Stay here, I’ll go get us something.” Jack stepped away for a moment before coming back with a large watermelon bowl filled with some kind of vodka mixed-drink. Huh, this was not the drink of choice Zhao Zi was expecting from a prominent gang member. There were five crazy straws in it, indicating it was probably meant for five people.

“Are we...expecting three more people?” Zhao Zi asked, confused.

“Nope, we’re just living our best lives,” Jack replied as he took a long sip through the neon pink crazy straw.

Zhao Zi tried a sip of the drink as well. It was delicious. There was a refreshing, mint and lime flavor mixed in with the sweet taste of watermelon. The vodka content was clearly strong based on the way it burned his throat, but it didn’t taste very alcoholic, which was a little dangerous.

“This is good! I really like this!” Zhao Zi exclaimed.

“I thought you might,” Jack grinned, putting both the neon pink and neon green straws together to drink out of both of them simultaneously.

And that was how they ended up getting raging drunk.

 

* * *

 

 

Zhao Zi woke up with his head pounding. A film-reel of memories from last night played back in his mind, prompting him to smother his red face using an unfamiliar pillow from an unfamiliar bed. He was one hundred percent mortified. He couldn’t believe that all…all _that_ happened just because Intoxicated Zhao Zi couldn’t keep his sticky little paws from wanting to trace the divots of those glorious abdominal muscles.

What to do? Sure, getting close to Jack was exactly what he’d wanted, but he hadn’t planned on everything happening so _fast._ He thought he’d have to work at least a little bit for it. And speaking of Jack, where even was he? Zhao Zi had never done this kind of thing before. What was the etiquette? Was he supposed to just quietly let himself out? Was it rude to not say goodbye first? Was saying goodbye inappropriate and a violation of some sort of unspoken social norm? Regardless, he couldn’t just _leave_. The whole point of this was to get close to the target, not scuttle away after losing his virginity.

Maybe he could take this opportunity to snoop around in Jack’s stuff? To see if there was anything useful he could glean from what was lying around? No, better not, he eventually decided. Just because he was spying didn’t mean he had the right to be an impolite houseguest.

Suddenly, as if the heavens were rewarding him for his moral behavior, the delicious scent of food struck his nose. He almost tripped down the stairs in his hurry to discover the source.

On the large marble kitchen island sat a whole assortment of mouthwatering dishes—congee, scallion pancake, red bean paste filled buns…everything was freshly made, too, judging batch of breaded raw dough sitting on the kitchen counter. How long had Jack been up for exactly? Did he make this kind of breakfast every day? It must’ve taken hours. And he didn’t even seem finished yet.

“Hey, you’re up,” Jack said with a crescent-shaped eye smile that Zhao Zi experienced as a solid punch to the solar plexus. “Take a seat. I just have to put this in the oven really quick and then I’ll join you. Have whatever you like.”

“This is literally the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Do you eat this extravagantly every morning?” Zhao Zi asked with one cheek stuffed full of pastry.

“Hmm, nope, today is special. Celebratory, in fact.”

“What could possibly deserve such an insane breakfast?”

“I guess you could say that something I’ve wanted for a while just fell into my hands.”

“Oh, nice. Something good happen at work?” he asked, trying to pry a little.

“Something like that,” Jack replied, eyes dancing, but he refused to elaborate.

They ate and chatted idly until Zhao Zi was so full, he could barely lift his head up from where it was slumped on the kitchen island.

“I have to head out soon to run some errands for my boss.  And you have to prepare to go back to classes tomorrow, don’t you?”

“How did you know I have classes?” Zhao Zi frowned.

Jack faltered for a millisecond before resuming his trademark grin. “You look like a student. I just assumed. Are you not?”

“Ah, no, you guessed right. I’m in university studying business management.”

“Really? Business management? You don’t really look the type.”

“Hey, what do you mean I don’t look the type? My family’s been doing business for years! And after graduating my plan is to open many different food places—one fine dining restaurant, one casual restaurant, at least two bakeries, and maybe even a couple of bubble tea shops.”

“Wow, a family business? Do you think I might’ve heard of it? Are you perhaps a Fuerdai?” he said teasingly.

“No! We just own a—a small…flower shop.”

“Oh? A flower shop?” Jack’s expression lit up, “Perfect, I’ve been meaning to get flowers for my mother. Where’s this shop? Can I visit?”

Zhao Zi shook his head vigorously. “You wouldn’t want to go there!”

“Oh? Why not?”

“It’s a…flower shop for funeral arrangements only! Like, when loved ones die. And when people die, other people who were fond of them get them flowers. It’s a thing. Happens all the time.”

Jack laughed. “I know what funeral arrangements are, idiot.”

“Great! That’s—yep, I’m glad you’re so educated! Cool. I’m just going to get out of your way so that you can get your stuff done. Thanks for the amazing food,” he rambled, standing up and getting ready to high-tail it out of there.

Just as Zhao Zi’s hands wrapped around the doorknob, Jack’s voice called out, “Do you like amusement parks?”

“I love amusement parks!” he turned back to look at Jack enthusiastically. “Wait, why are you asking?”

“Great, let’s go next weekend. I put my number into your phone, so be on the lookout for a text.”

“Sure,” Zhao Zi replied happily, before— “Hey! How did you get my passcode?”

“Magic fingers,” Jack said, holding up a hand and wriggling his fingers.

Zhao Zi huffed. “Fine then. See you next week, you suspicious person, you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Three weeks and zero pieces of intel but six new stuffed animals later, Zhao Zi was starting to realize he had a problem.

The guilt was hitting him hard from all different angles. For one, he was having the time of his life with a higher-up member of the gang involved in injuring his father. It would be fine if he could justify it by learning bits of information to safeguard his family, but he wasn’t even being a good spy. The only thing he’d learned was people could do... _that_ with their tongues. He hadn’t even managed to learn Jack’s fitness training secrets because he inevitably got distracted by the results of the training instead. Which he owed himself some slack for, because those were some mighty good resu— _focus, Zhao Zi_.

There was also the almost paradoxical guilt he felt about lying to Jack about his identity and his intentions. Initially, when he’d just thought of Jack as some random gang member, he didn’t feel bad about his moral choices, but now he knew Jack was an attentive, clever, funny, and surprisingly sweet guy. He could admit to himself that he was terrified of seeing Jack’s hurt and disappointed look when he inevitably found out who Zhao Zi really was and why he’d initially pursued Jack.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and tried distracting himself by writing an entry on his food blog about some new popular dessert—some cake that was only made by one small shop found in some remote mountain in the countryside, leading to hundreds of rich second generation bloggers flocking there on private jets.

All this contemplation of food made him crave some, so he wriggled his way out of his blanket nest, slipped on some shoes, and took the elevator downstairs to head to the 24/7 corner store. The cold, bitter evening air hit his face as soon as he stepped outside, prompting him to run back upstairs to grab the nearest article of clothing, which he’d realized too late was a thick denim shirt that Jack had left behind the last time he was over. He felt kind of silly in this oversized shirt that reached almost halfway to his knees. Why didn’t he accidentally grab something that belonged to his roommate Shaofei instead?  Even though he was also tall, he was at least thin as a stick. Although come to think of it, most of Shao Fei's possessions had recently been migrating from their apartment to Shao Fei’s mysterious boyfriend's place, so it was less likely his stuff would be lying around.

After accomplishing his food gathering mission, Zhao Zi began walking back to the apartment with his armful of snacks. All of a sudden, a dark figure leaped out of an inconspicuous car parked in the shadows and dragged Zhao Zi inside, covering his mouth to muffle the shouts. The kidnapper began administering some sort of drug into his vein that made him feel simultaneously euphoric and completely divorced from reality. He couldn’t remember who he was, where he was, and who all the people around him were. Every moment was disjointed. He lost all desire to put up a fight. Why had he wanted to put up a fight in the first place? He couldn’t for the life of him figure out his thoughts. That was when everything went black.

 

* * *

 

 

When Zhao Zi awoke, he found himself in a windowless basement room surrounded by tough-looking guys in suits led by one not-so-tough-looking guy. Hey, this guy was pretty short! Zhao Zi could probably have taken him in a fight if he didn’t have five other people as backup. Cheater.

"So, _this_ is the young master of the Zhang family? No wonder they went to such great lengths to hide you away. You're an embarrassment to not only your family but the entire criminal underground. A boring University student who runs a cutesy pastel-themed food blog? What a joke."

"I’m not an embarrassment. My family has always, always told me they're proud of me."

“Yeah, and I'm proud my puppy has finally learned not to pee on the couch in excitement. It's all about the standards you set.”

“Who even are you? Why are you being so rude?!”

“Li Zhi De. Tang Yi’s most trusted aide.”

“…I thought that was Jack?” Zhao Zi blinked.

“No, that’s _me_ ,” the man in front of him seethed behind gritted teeth. “Li Zhi De. More widely known as De Ge. You must have heard of me.”

“Um…no?”

“I guess it makes sense. Your family protects you from all the important knowledge because they never failed to recognize how useless you are to them. How helpless.”

“Hey, I’m not helpless! I have black belts in Judo and Kung Fu, and a brown belt in Karate.”

"That’s all child’s play. Have you ever shot an enemy in the forehead while making direct eye contact?"

"What's with this whole trying to act edgy all the time?" Zhao Zi complained.

"Shut the hell up!" De Ge roared, lifting his arm up and landing a hard blow across his face.

The sound of flesh striking flesh was immediately followed by the sound of doors being violently kicked open. It was difficult to make out the details of the backlit figure, but Zhao Zi could recognize that cocky, self-assured stance anywhere.

Zhao Zi froze in panic. Jack was here. Jack was here and he was going to find out who Zhao Zi really was, if he hadn't already. Jack was going to hate him—again, if he didn't already. What if he'd come here to join in on the fun and maybe even throw in some punches of his own? And meanwhile here was Zhao Zi, wearing jack's dumb oversized shirt like some kind of stupid lovesick teenager.

"De Ge, what do you think you're doing?" Jack said with a fake saccharine tone as he walked in.

"Jack." De Ge's arm fell down to the side.

"I’m straining my memory really hard, but I can't seem to remember Tang Yi telling you that you could run around doing whatever you want like you owned this gang."

"I'm just protecting the boss like I'm paid to do," De Ge growled.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "By...kidnapping a short university student who spends his free time watching cartoons and writing articles about ramen? What are you trying to protect Tang Yi from in this case? Bad reviews on his restaurant chain?"

"I'm returning to the Zhaos the same favor they paid us!"

"Why Tang Yi keeps such a simple fool around is a constant mystery to me. Listen closely. The Zhao family has never lifted a finger against us since the agreement a decade ago, and neither have we lifted a single finger against them. This was a plan orchestrated by Chen Wen Hao to eliminate his competition. Do you understand now?"

De Ge stared at him with silent anger.

"Now take your men and get the fuck out before your right eye becomes acquainted with the tip of my knife," Jack said pleasantly.

Before they could hear De Ge's response to that, another person decided to honor the tradition of crashing this party by kicking down the door.

That person turned out to be...Meng Shao Fei? His…roommate?

The last person Zhao Zi had ever expected to show up here came running over, looking completely unfazed by the impressive number of knives and guns concentrated in this room. "Oh my God, Zhao Zi, I'm so glad you're okay."

Zhao Zi sputtered. "How are you even--? What the--? Bweauh?" That wasn't even a word.

"I can't believe they did this. What a mess. Don’t worry, I've already slapped Tang Yi upside the head a couple of times for not keeping his subordinates in check," Shao Fei said completely unhelpfully. His best friend then grabbed the knife Jack had been spinning in his left hand and used it to start cutting Zhao Zi's bonds. This supposed best friend, who, apparently just went around casually slapping gang leaders upside the head like misbehaving children without Zhao Zi’s knowledge.

"As Jack said, get out," Shao Fei said, turning around to look at De Ge, who sneered but swirled around and stalked out.

As he was leaving, one of his subordinates in a black suit and sunglasses came over and whispered to Zhao Zi, "Don't listen to him, I love your blog. I'm actually a huge fan, so please post soon. _Jia you_." Then he slipped out the door after his boss.

That left Zhao Zi staring between the two remaining people, more than a little overwhelmed.

Jack turned to Shao Fei. "You don’t have to worry, he's fine now. Do you mind giving us a moment to talk?"

Shao Fei nodded and moved to leave, but Zhao Zi darted a hand out to tug at his friend’s sleeves, widening his eyes into his best puppy dog expression. Shao Fei lightly tugged his arm away. “I trust him,” he said softly, giving Zhao Zi’s shoulder a brief, gentle squeeze before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Immediately Jack pulled Zhao Zi into his arms, tucking his chin over the top of the other’s head. Zhao Zi felt his eyes get glassy. "I'm sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t know how. I really,” he hiccupped, “really, really, like you. I wanted to get information from you in the beginning, but I never even remembered to do any of that! Not that you should forgive me just because I was an incompetent spy, that’s stupid, forget I said anything.”

“Stop crying, silly, or I’ll be really mad at myself for making you cry. Did you really think I didn’t know who you were the moment I saw you at the bar?”

“You…what?”

“Mmm. And I also thought your naïve, slightly inept attempts at seduction were really very charming,” Jack said cheekily.

“Inept?! You fell for them, so what does that make you?” Zhao Zi pointed accusingly.

“Weak for cute things.”

Zhao Zi huffed, but he ducked his head back under Jack’s chin in embarrassment.

The taller man pulled back slightly to look at him. “Come on, let’s go. I have a braised abalone recipe bookmarked that I’ve been wanting to make for a while. I even went to the market as early as possible this morning to find the freshest ingredients for us.”

“Really?” Zhao Zi eyes lit up.

“Really, really. I’m not a liar, unlike some other people.” There was no animosity in his tone, only playfulness.

“It's too soon to make these kinds of jokes!” Zhao Zi whined, slipping his hand into Jack’s waiting, outstretched palm.

**Author's Note:**

> join me in my madness [here](https://taropearlmilktea.tumblr.com/)


End file.
